Have You Check Into the Hotel Cortez? – REVIEW

So like, I was watching American Horror Story: Hotel last night and it was…? Yeah. That’s pretty much it. I was left with a big question mark over my head because I wasn’t sure what just happened. The bloodshed and sex were abundant. The many reviews I’ve read so far said that they were pushing the envelope. Ha. More like they were pushing the whole post office. So here’s my question. Where was the “horror” in the American HORROR Story? If they were trying to appeal to a person’s gentle sensibilities, then perhaps the premiere episode might work for them.

It didn’t work for me. I wanted some “horror” in my HORROR Story. The very first season delivered that beautifully, so I don’t know what’s wrong here other than they’ve somehow forgotten their way after five seasons. I even tuned out of season four about halfway through.There were too-stupid-to-live moments that completely turned me off.

The only shining part of the whole show was Kathy Bates. She’s awesome and can act the heck out of any role.

Lady Gaga sounded like an annoyed version of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Her acting was somewhat stiff, but this is coming from someone who’s only acting credits were more than thirty years ago as a foster kid in a commercial and I was a member of a local drama troop.

No Angela Bassett, yet.

I like Wes Bentley, so it’ll be interesting to see how his part plays out, although he had contributed toward too-stupid-to-live moments for other characters.

As someone put it, Sarah Paulson should be the first choice to play Courtney Love, if anyone ever decides to do a biography on Kurt Cobain. Otherwise, I’m not exactly sure what the point of her character is other than to hang around the hotel like the annoying squirrel in the attic who keeps outsmarting you.

I have to give it to Denis O’Hare. He was definitely as entertaining as Kathy Bates.

Matt Bomer was cute…until he went all bloodletting on me. At that point, I lost all interest.

As for all of the others? I don’t know and don’t care. In fact, I’m not even sure Jessica Lange would’ve helped much. Although, it would be nice to have her make a special appearance or something, even if it’s for one episode.

Will I tune in for a second show? Probably. Will I tune in for a third? Sorry, but I’m not in to the miracle-making business. Because that’s what the second episode will have to be for me to stick around the lobby of this Bates Motel. I would’ve been fine with suspending belief, if it weren’t for my trying to figure out exactly which areas needed to be suspended.

Rating: C-

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